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~~~Need A Break From All The Negative Things Happening?~~~~

~~Here Is A Little Bit Of Humor, I Think!~~

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Old 05-20-2020, 10:14 PM   #1
David Miller
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Exclamation ~~~Need A Break From All The Negative Things Happening?~~~~

This is from the Reader's Digest~~~~


The Customer Is NOT Always Right!


" A customer's child is doing a project on dinosaurs. The customer can not believe our bookstore doesn't have a single book with actual photographs of real dinosaurs. "


" While I was working at a gas station, a guy asked me for a refund on the gas he just pumped because he changed his mind. "


" I work at a pet supply store. One time a customer called to set up a delivery. Among the items he wanted was a dog toy, but he didn't know which one. I had to pick out toys and squeak them into the phone for him until he heard the ' right ' one! "


" When I worked at a video store, a woman asked if we had a copy of Three Dalmations . To clarify, I asked, " Three Dalmations?" She answered angrily, " I don't know, there may be more! "


" I once watched a woman demand that my coworker give her a haircut. I work at a bookstore! "


" I was perusing the shelves at a bookstore when a customer asked an employee where the birding section was. After pointing it out, the employee asked, " Is there anything specific you are looking for? "


" Yes," said the customer, " My husband."




"Our fourth grader celebrated his birthday on crutches, so he couldn't carry the cupcakes into the school without help. I asked our sixth grader, Noah, to help his brother carry them in.
" I could, " he said, " but I prefer not to."


Spotting a teaching moment, my husband asked, " What would Jesus do? "



Noah answered, " Jesus would heal him so he could carry his own cupcakes. " (out of the mouth of babes! )




" My 85 year old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion. The doctor asked him a series of questions.
" Do you know where you are?"
" I'm at Rex Hospital."
" What city are you in? "

" Raleigh."
" Do you know who I am? "

" Dr. Hamilton."


My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, " I hope he doesn't ask me anymore questions."
" Why? " she asked.


" Because all those answers were on his badge."





" Concerned that he might have put on a few pounds, my husband exited the bathroom and asked, " Do you think my chin is getting fat?"


I smiled lovingly and replied, " Which one? "




~~~~~~Somehow, it is reassuring in the midst of a coronavirus shopping frenzy, to know that people still have the sense not to buy chocolate hummus and buffalo hummus.~~~~


~~~~~~CDC: To prevent coronavirus, stay home, avoid physical contact, and don't go into large crowds.
Introverts: I've been preparing for this my whole life.~~~~




~~~~~Prediction: There will be a minor baby boom in nine months and one day in 2033, we shall witness the rise of the QUARANTEENS!~~~~




I hope you enjoyed reading these " little bits of humor " .


Let me know if you did! Or didn't!



David
















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Old 05-20-2020, 11:33 PM   #2
Bert
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Perfect for my bedtime story! Thanks Davis
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Old 05-20-2020, 11:58 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Bert View Post
Perfect for my bedtime story! Thanks Davis

You are welcome! We need some laughter . This year has been a really bad year! Stay safe!


Dave
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Old 05-28-2020, 10:25 PM   #4
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It was pretty cute, thanks.
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Old 05-29-2020, 12:32 PM   #5
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Gonna make a paper copy to show to my mother. Thanks. (No computer access. Also no smart phone or microwave etc)
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