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My son is very ill

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Old 07-14-2020, 11:32 AM   #21
David Miller
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Vicki and I still think about you and your son. Is there any latest info?


David and Vicki
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Old 07-28-2020, 12:46 AM   #22
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With a heavy heart I am writing to say my son became incoherent on Friday, July 24. He was in the hospital for 4 weeks and became totally paralized from the waist down on June 27 and was in extremely terrible pain. The hospital booted him out the minute he was accepted into the Medicaid program.

For the whole time in the hospital we would text and talk on the phone late into the night. He was 100% lucid and we really bonded during this time. I sent him bags and bags of candy from Amazon to counteract his cigarette addiction. I sent cards with money in the mail but they didn't reach him in time. He needed money to buy Coke-a-cola out of the vending machine. 3 cards with money are still floating around in limbo in the US mail system. He never did get the money to buy his beloved Coke-a-cola. I felt so bad.


His birthday was July 10 and the company I ordered balloons and a teddy bear from did NOT make the delivery on his birthday. They never called me to let me know they are not delivering to hospitals right now. I ordered from another company and they delivered them a day later (after his birthday was over). I was extremely upset that he did not get this gift on his actual birthday.

Except for the candy, everything else I tried to do didn't happen the way it was supposed to. Mike took to the teddy bear right away and named it Terry. The nurses snapped a picture of him with his arm around the bear while he was sleeping. At 52 years old a teddy bear still gave him comfort.

On July 23 they said they were sending him to Hospice and made him believe he had no choice but to sign the papers and leave the hospital. At this point he still believed he could get better and live. They promised him they would keep him on the same pain control program because he didn't want to not be alert.

He was transferred to Hospice that afternoon, told me he liked it very much, had a wonderful dinner with meatloaf, green beans, mashed potatoes and his beloved Coke-a-cola and told me Terry ate all his candy which was a hint to send more. He ate like a trooper. We texted until 8:30 pm and then I thought he fell asleep and I figured he was tired from being moved and in pain.

The next day when I called him he was incoherent and mumbled something into the phone and dropped it. I called the nurse and she said they were pumping him full of morphine to settle him down. He hasn't been able to talk to me since then. They have him hooked to a morphine machine that gives him more every hour. They did just the opposite to him that they said they would do.

The nurse also told me that they might transfer him to a nursing home because that facility is for people with less than 48 hours to live. WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL US THIS BEFORE THEY TRANSFERRED HIM THERE? Everything they told him before he went there was not the truth. I have been crying all weekend at the thought of never having a conversation with him again. This is so hard.

First I lose him at 4 years old when his father kidnapped him, and then we didn't reconnect for over 40 years (due to the father poisoning him against me). When we did reconnect 5 years ago he was homeless and in need of help. I helped him every way I could for 5 years and now I am losing him to cancer.

I know the next few weeks will be a rough road for me. I will have him brought back to New York and buried next to me after his journey is over. I have told him this a few weeks ago and I think it gave him comfort to know his final resting place.

Thank you for asking about him.

Last edited by 111karen111; 07-28-2020 at 01:39 AM.. Reason: Spelling
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Old 07-28-2020, 01:16 AM   #23
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Pictures

Balloons and teddy bear.
The teddy bear named Terry.
Picture of Mike with Terry the teddy bear.
Picture of Mike in better times.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 20200711_141224.jpg (86.4 KB, 16 views)
File Type: jpg 2020071195172519.jpg (91.0 KB, 15 views)
File Type: jpg 2020071595131153.jpg (82.6 KB, 21 views)
File Type: jpg Mike 2015.jpg (43.0 KB, 17 views)
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Old 07-28-2020, 04:00 AM   #24
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Karen, my thoughts and prayers are with you. So sorry that you are going through this.
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Old 07-28-2020, 11:24 AM   #25
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Karen, that is such a sweet picture of your son with "Terry", the bear. I am still keeping you both in my prayers.
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Old 07-28-2020, 08:43 PM   #26
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Karen,


You are such a sweetheart! I think your son knows what a special person you are, for this I have no doubt! Please don't worry if the birthday gifts didn't get to him on time. What matters is that he has them now! This made him happy, at least for a little while. And, each time he looks at the bear, he will remember that he loves you in his own way.


We are praying with all our might for God to give Mike some pain relief. No matter what paths we take in life, God will be there for anyone. I was getting worried because we needed to hear from you and thank God you posted again! Thanks.


David and Vicki and family.
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Old 07-29-2020, 01:34 AM   #27
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Sorry it took so long. I have been numb for weeks. This is so hard. The nurse took a picture of him for me yesterday and sent it to me. It was torture not being able to see where he was. The picture gave me comfort.

I sit here every day worrying they might move him again (to a nursing home) or that I will get the dreaded call that he is gone. I wonder if he is still in terrible pain or if the morphine makes it bearable. Last week he started having pain with every breath he takes. They said the cancer he has is a very fast moving agressive type.

I also wonder if the reason he became incoherent 4 hours after arriving at the hospice was because the cancer hit his brain (like the nurse suggested), or if they pumped him full of morphine as soon as he got there. They had promised him they wouldn't increase his dosage when he got there. They also didn't tell him their policy is to evaluate him after arrival at the facility and if it is determined that he has more than a couple days left, they would ship him to a nursing home.

I am quite upset at the deception that was used to get him to agree to leave the hospital and go to the hospice. I guess in the end all of this won't really matter, but right now all of this is upsetting to me. Him being incoherent is very hard on me especially after being able to converse with him every day up until last Thursday. I guess that had to end sometime, but I wasn't ready for it to end yet. Would I ever be ready for it to end?

It doesn't help that I am embroiled in a nasty lawsuit at the same time all of this is happening with my son. I had my house painted last fall and the painter ruined my house during the 2nd. coat of paint that he applied on all 4 sides of my house in 20 minutes while I was not home on a very windy day and all the paint ran down my house and dried in drips and globs on my house. He also didn't cover my windows, doors, or security cameras and he ruined 4 of my security cameras. You can't see out of them at night any more. Of course he is denying he did any damage.

I took him to the NYS Attorney General to arbitrate the case. He didn't respond to them for 4 months and then he lied to them and filed a case against me in Small Claims Court the same month on the day the Small Claims Court closed due to the virus. I had to wait 2 months to file a counterclaim against him but the case is on hold. The court is not scheduling any cases yet even though they let me file a counterclaim. The Attorney General closed the case unresolved once it was in litigation.

I have many pictures of the damage and video from my security cameras of the whole event on a flash drive to take to court. I just hope the judge can determine he is lying and make him pay me to have another contractor sand all the paint drips and globs and then repaint my whole house. I also found out he has several unsatisfied judgements against him already and if I get a judgement, I will be put at the end of the line to collect my money. He was referred to me by the Better Contractors Bureau in the area I live in. I trusted them to send me to a reputable contractor. NOT!!!

This disreputable businessman is asking me to pay him another $2000 saying he did extra work above and beyond what was in the contract (which is a lie). I had already paid him the full amount in the contract thinking he had already applied 2 coats and soon after I discovered he didn't when I went back over the camera footage. It was at that point he came to paint my house in 20 minutes when I was not home. He broke my old house numbers and made me pay for new ones, etc.

There is much much more to this story but it is to involved to put the whole story here. But today a miracle happened. A group of lawyers I spoke to said they couldn't take my case but then today they called and said they would help me free of charge because of the terrible thing this painter did to me. Miracles do happen.

Last edited by 111karen111; 07-29-2020 at 02:11 AM..
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Old 07-29-2020, 01:47 AM   #28
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Here are 2 pictures of the damage.
He skipped over any part of the house that had objects in the way - mailbox, etc.

1. Example of what all 4 sides of my house look like.
2. House security camera covered with paint.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Camera 8.jpg (16.7 KB, 11 views)
File Type: jpg House damage.jpg (78.1 KB, 16 views)

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Old 07-29-2020, 09:26 PM   #29
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Karen,
It looks like he either had too much water mixed in his paint or he applied it too thick or the weather was too humid or it rained on the wet paint. Whew! His law suit against you will not be in his favor, in fact, you actually have the upper hand. He really does not want to see you in any court because of the evidence you have of sub-standard work. You have damage and he will have to pay, once the free lawyers help you or even if you see him in court yourself. If he doesn't show up in court, he will get a Judgement against him and he will just add it to the other judgements of non pay. Eventually, your Attorney General will review his cases and he will be ordered to pay all restitution or got to jail.


All he has to do is change his business name and apply for a new work permit and he can open up for more rip off work! His new business name will show no negative marks against him at first, until he starts to rip people off again. Puppy mills do this all the time....they change their business names and open up a mill in the new name and records will show no bad remarks on the internet.
There are always loop-holes for the bad guys because of their.." Rights ".


If the security camera's are coated with latex over-spray, then you can clean off the over-spray. In Florida, elderly people call the local Boy Scouts and they ask the Scouts for the nearest Troop. Then, the elderly call the Troop Master and ask if his Troop wants to earn Merit Badges for Community Services for doing some clean up around their homes.



I used to be a Scout Master and my Troop earned all kinds of badges by helping out the elderly for free! ( Like helping an old lady to walk across the street).


This is just a suggestion for you to do this and they just might come over and clean the camera's for you! Or your windows! Just give them some doughnuts or drinks or a small donation for their " tip ", if you want. It all depends where you live if there are any Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts in the area! It's worth try!


Dave
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Old 07-29-2020, 11:23 PM   #30
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David:

I already paid a handyman to wash the cameras 6 times at $30 each time. The camera installer said to use microfiber cloths and Dawn dish liquid so the cameras coverings wouldn't get scratched. He said by his contract with the camera maker, he wasn't allowed to remove or replace parts of the camera. He said I had to install 4 totally new cameras.

The spots didn't come off all of the 4 cameras after 6 washings and one camera turned real dark. The paint actually absorbed into the plastic coverings over the cameras.

This character has already changed his business name 5 or 6 times. He has nothing in his name (house, vehicles, etc.). He knows all the ropes.

I found out too late that all you have to do to belong to the Better Contractors Bureau is to pay your yearly dues.

As far as paying for repair work, in addition to offering me free legal services, the lawyer group that is helping me also referred me to a group of reputable plumbers, electricians, handymen, etc. through a group called Home Works that only charge $20 an hour labor plus any cost for paint and other supplies - and no extra charge to walk in your front door like most of these tradesmen charge.

This group is for seniors or disabled people who have a limited budget and want to stay in their homes. I sent in my membership fee and when it is processed, the man that runs this program will send a reputable painter to my home to give me an estimate at $20 an hour labor to repair and repaint my home plus the cost of the paint. This should save me one or two thousand dollars to fix my home since it is unlikely I will see restution from the original painter that already has several judgments against him. I also have a few small electrical jobs to be done at $20 per hour also.

How lucky am I to have found all this wonderful help. I might even get my membership in this group refunded from a special fund they have for people in my situation.

Did I mention that he made me rip up a check with his business name on it and write another check with his personal name on it? He said he really wanted cash. Thank goodness I didn't do that and then have no proof that I paid him.

Did you ever buy that bird-safe ceiling fan from Home Depot? If you did, how do you like it?

Last edited by 111karen111; 07-30-2020 at 12:04 AM..
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